What to do when feeling disillusioned in marriage? | Safe and Sound

Marital disillusionment is not an uncommon feeling that many couples face. This feeling often accompanies fatigue, stress, lack of communication, and unresolved issues in the relationship. So, when feeling disillusioned in marriage, what should you do to overcome it and maintain your marital relationship? Let's explore the causes, common mistakes, and steps to take to save your marriage with a psychologist.

Nguyen Hoang Nguyen | Master's Degree – Doctor. Safe and Sound Mental Health Care Application,
Institute of Applied Medical Technology (IMT)

1. What are the causes of marital dissatisfaction?

According to psychologists, there are many reasons for feelings of boredom in marriage, and most of them stem from changes in the lives and psychology of couples. One common cause is work stress. When a husband or wife faces a heavy workload, financial pressure, or health problems, they often lack the time or positive energy to focus on their marital relationship. This easily leads to feelings of loneliness and distance.

Another crucial factor is a lack of communication in marriage. Psychologists argue that communication is key to a lasting relationship. When spouses cannot share their personal thoughts and feelings, misunderstandings and distances gradually build. When one person feels unheard or unsupported, feelings of fatigue and frustration will arise.

Lack of communication in marriage leads to boredom and frustration in married life.

Furthermore, changes in each person's emotional needs are also a factor that cannot be ignored. Life stages such as childbirth, raising children, or work-related issues can alter relationship expectations. Psychologists say that if couples cannot adjust their expectations and needs, the relationship will fall into a state of disconnection.

Finally, guilt is also a significant factor. When a person feels they haven't met their partner's expectations or fulfilled their role in the relationship, they may fall into a state of self-blame. This feeling gradually increases stress and fatigue, further straining the relationship.

2. Mistakes that lead to marital breakdown

According to psychologists, there are several mistakes couples often make when facing marital frustration, and these can worsen the relationship.

One of the first mistakes is avoiding problems instead of confronting and resolving them. Many people, when feeling stressed in a relationship, often try to avoid, remain silent, or not share their feelings of dissatisfaction with their partner. However, this only makes the situation worse. Psychologists emphasize that open and honest communication is the first step in resolving any marital problems.

Communication is the key to a successful marriage.

Another mistake is being hesitant to seek help. When relationships are struggling, many people are reluctant to admit they need outside help. They hesitate to seek out mental health professionals or therapists, believing the problem will resolve itself. However, this delay in seeking support can worsen the situation.

The next mistake is remaining silent about negative emotions. When a spouse is unable to share their feelings or hides stress, fatigue, or anxieties, it can lead to a buildup of negative emotions. This lack of sharing will only drive the two of you further apart and diminish your understanding of each other.

Finally, another mistake is a lack of understanding and empathy. Each person in a relationship may have different ways of feeling and processing problems. Without understanding and respecting each other's feelings, couples can easily fall into a stalemate, and frustration will only grow. Psychologists encourage listening to and respecting each other's feelings to maintain a strong marital bond.

3. Things to do when you start feeling disillusioned with your marriage.

When feelings of frustration arise in a marriage, it's crucial that you and your partner take immediate action to save the relationship. Psychologists recommend that the first step is to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and thoughts. Don't let stress and exhaustion build up without sharing. A lighthearted conversation in the evening or on weekends can help reduce tension and rekindle the relationship.

Spending quality time together is one of the most important steps in improving marital relationships. Psychologists suggest that couples should find time to do things they enjoy together, such as taking a walk, having dinner, or watching a movie. These activities help rebuild bonding and create beautiful memories in the relationship.

ISpend quality time together to make your family happier.

If marital problems become more complex and cannot be resolved through normal communication, seeking help from a mental health professional is a crucial step. Psychologists can help you and your partner better understand yourselves and each other, and provide strategies for managing negative emotions such as guilt, stress, and exhaustion.

Another effective method is to plan for small changes in daily life. Making even small changes, such as planning shared activities, creating private time together, or altering a daily routine, can help create a fresh atmosphere in the relationship. Exploring new things together helps couples feel connected and cared for.

Finally, if feelings of tension persist or there are signs of more serious problems, seeking psychological counseling is necessary. This will not only help resolve marital issues but also improve your mental health and rebuild a lasting and happy relationship.

 

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